We’re Hard-Wired for Connection – and Loneliness Spells Danger

Last April, cheering passengers ripped off their masks mid-flight after hearing U.S. District Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle had struck down the CDC mandate for masking on public transportation.  Not everyone was happy, especially the immune compromised, but there is a widely shared desire to once again engage with each other without fear and relish the joys of social connection.  This desire is not driven by politics; it’s biological.

“Man is by nature a social animal,” Aristotle observed, long before science proved him right.   We may enjoy moments of seclusion, but as Balzac observed, “Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine.”

COVID forced human separation and, according to a meta-analysis of 54 studies, this “had an impact on loneliness in the general adult population and that loneliness is significantly positively associated with mental illness.”  Research by Daniel Kahneman shows daily activities most associated with reported happiness are all social, such as sex, socializing after work and having dinner with friends. None of this is surprising.  Social relationships produce bodily responses associated with pleasure and conducive to mental and physical health.  We’re hard-wired for connection:

·       Hugging releases oxytocin, a chemical associated with social bonding and feeling happy.  It reduces blood pressure and relieves stress.  Oxytocin also inhibits the brain’s amygdala, thus suppressing the fight or flight response and activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body.  Hugging can prevent illness and lessen its effects. In one study hugging was associated with fewer colds and reduced symptoms among those already infected. 

 ·       Touching of any kind makes pressure receptors in skin communicate with the vagus nerve which plays a role in decreasing stress and its damaging effects.   Since nerve endings in our skin are everywhere, touching is a full-body experience.  Even casual touching (when invited) of someone’s hands, upper arms shoulders or face can produce brain waves associated with the reduction of stress caused by troubling experiences. 

 ·       Kissing also releases oxytocin, which can make people more charitable and forgiving with those close to them.  Kissing (when wanted) causes the brain to release dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasurable experiences.  Couples who frequently kiss report increased satisfaction with their relationship.   Kissing also releases serotonin, which lowers cortisol levels.  Persistent elevated cortisol is associated with high blood pressure, inflammation and proneness to diabetes.

 ·       Positivity Resonance is another benefit of close social relationships.  It occurs when two people “experience a mutual biological and behavioral surge of warmth, humor and affection” according to research by Jenna Wells and her colleagues.  A study of couples found that those who often experience this have better health and live longer than those who do not.  Research by Nicholas Christakis and his co-workers shows that people with strong social ties had comparatively low levels of fibrinogen, a protein associated with the kind of chronic inflammation that can foster disease.

 ·       Limerence is our desire for harmony with others.  If met, it promotes healthy relationships as well as mental and physical health.  If we are unable to be in harmony with a desired other, research suggests this intense, unmet desire can cause perspiration, shortness of breath, and even heart palpitations.  Other research shows that participants who agreed to self-isolate for ten hours reported social craving, loneliness and decreased happiness and their brain reacted similarly to how it responded to the craving for food after a similar period of fasting.

The easing of the COVID pandemic will not solve the isolation and loneliness felt by so many.  Even before COVID, a 2018 Ipsos poll found 54 percent of Americans feel as if no one knows them well, at least some of the time.  Around 40 percent reported feeling a lack of companionship, a lack of meaningful relationships, isolation from others and not being close to anyone.  The same poll found those who never have in-person contact with others report being in fair/poor physical and mental health more often than those who have such interactions daily. 

In a study of 3.4 million people (conducted before COVID), Brigham Young University's Julianne Holt-Lunstad found that loneliness and social isolation increased the risk of premature death by 26 percent.  Loneliness has been linked to depression, anxiety and substance abuse as well as making people more prone to heart disease, cancer, stroke, hypertension and dementia.  Experiments show that lonely people exposed to a cold virus are more likely to develop symptoms than those who are not lonely.

The benefits of positive social connections are clear.  Lundstad also found that those who reported social support increased their odds of survival by 35 percent.  Ripping off masks may be a welcome step, but it won’t begin to fill the loneliness gap that remains in humans hard-wired for social connection.  Social and governmental policy should devote far more attention to diminishing the factors that contribute to loneliness. 

Photo Credit: JerzeyCorecki@pisabay.com