Kindness “Pays it Backwards” Too

At 96, Betty Lowe was a volunteer at the Salford Royal Hospital in Greater Manchester, UK, talking with patients and serving coffee.  She continued to volunteer as she reached 100, 102, 104 and even 106.  While genes no doubt helped account for her longevity, her desire to be kind to others seems to have played a part as well.  We’ve all heard stories about how people’s kindness – such as paying for the drive-thru meal of the person behind you – encourages others to continue the practice, dubbed “paying it forward.”  But we may underestimate how kindness helps the giver of kind acts, “paying it backwards.”  Sure, it feels good to be kind to others, but science tells us it does a lot more.  Betty Lowe may be an extreme example, but she’s far from alone.

Kindness is a widespread behavior of our social species.  During 2021, The Kindness Test was launched on BBC Radio.  Responses from more than 60,000 people from 144 countries revealed that 59 percent had received an act of kindness in the past day.   Research by Harvard’s Michael Norton finds that those who act kindly by spending money on others report being happier than when spending it on themselves.  Other psychological benefits of being kind to others have been widely reported.  For some, like Betty Lowe, it gives life more meaning and a sense of purpose.  It can help fight loneliness and depression. When receivers of kindness do “pay it forward” by being kind to others, the knowledge of that adds to the original giver’s sense that they’re spreading happiness to a wider group.

Betty Lowe may also have gained from multiple health benefits associated with being kind.  According to a detailed review by Marta Zaraska and discussed in her book, Growing Young,  “[S]tudies show . . . that volunteering correlates with a 24% lower risk of early death . . . a lower risk of high blood glucose and a lower risk of the inflammation levels connected to heart disease.”  Volunteers also spend 38% fewer nights in hospitals, she notes, than people who don’t do such charitable work.  The brains of those who donate to charity, she reports, show less response to pain and less pain in donating blood.  Even further, those who give money to others report better hearing, sleep and lower blood pressure.

Neuroscience gives us lots of clues about why being kind improves happiness and health. Zaraska relates that being kind reduces the activation of the brain’s amygdala, the part of the brain associated with fear.   According to Cedars-Sinai professor of psychiatry, Dr. Waquih William isHak, being kind releases oxytocin, the “love hormone” associated with social bonding and trust.  The “helper’s high” from being kind may well be associated with the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that makes us feel good, and serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate our moods.  The impact of kindness on reducing pain, Dr. IsHak suggests, may well be related to “substance P”, an endorphin-like chemical.  These positive outcomes don’t last long, he notes, which of course suggests the value of engaging in repeated acts of kindness.

There are, of course, reasons why people don’t engage in acts of kindness as often as they might.  Results from The Kindness Test reveal the following percentages of people who report some of these barriers: the concern that an act of kindness might be misinterpreted (65.9 percent), lack of time (57.5 percent), using social media (52.3 percent), lack of the opportunity (42.1 percent) and the concern that being kind will be taken as a weakness (27.6 percent). 

Another significant barrier may well be that people underestimate how much an act of kindness means to the receiver.  In a set of studies reported by Amit Kumar of the University of Texas and Nick Epley of the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, recipients of acts of kindness – some as simple as getting a cupcake from another person - reported feeling better about these acts, and more of a sense of warmth toward the giver, than givers expected them to feel.

Betty Lowe passed away in 2015 after 40 years of volunteering in the hospital café.  Inspired by her Girl Guides promise to help other people, she certainly did that.  At the same time, her kindness paid back huge dividends – for her as well as all the hospital staff and patients who received her kindness.

Random Acts of Kindness Day, sponsored by a non-profit with the same name, comes up each year.   But we don’t need to wait for a given day to get as well as give the benefits of kindness.  We won’t all get Betty Lowe’s longevity, but we can live happier and healthier just the same.

Photo Credit: Betty Lowe - www.telegraph.co.uk